From the New York Times bestselling author of Come as You Are and
co-author of Burnout
comes an illuminating exploration of how to maintain a happy sex life
in a long-term relationship.
“Emily Nagoski
is a national treasure—helping us all understand how to finally
build true, joyful, confident sex lives.”—Glennon Doyle, author
of Untamed
In
Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD, revolutionized the way we think
about women’s sexuality. Now, in Come
Together, Nagoski takes
on a fundamentally misunderstood subject: sex in long-term
relationships.
Most
of us struggle at some point to maintain a sexual connection with our
partner/s or spouse. And many of us are given not-very-good advice on
what to do about it. In this book, Nagoski dispels the myths we’ve
been taught about sex—for instance, the belief that sexual
satisfaction and desire are highest at the beginning of a
relationship and that they inevitably decline the longer that
relationship lasts. Nagoski assures us that’s not true.
So,
what is true? Come
Together isn’t about
how much we want sex, or how often we’re having it; it’s about
whether we like the sex we’re having. Nagoski breaks down the
obstacles that impede us from enjoying sex—from stress and body
image to relationship difficulties and gendered beliefs about how sex
“should” be—and presents the best ways to overcome them. You’ll
learn:
• that
“spontaneous desire” is not the kind of desire to strive for if
you want to have great sex for decades
• vocabulary
for talking with partners about ways to get in “the mood” and how
to not take it personally when “the mood” is nowhere to be found
• how
to understand your own and your partner’s “emotional floorplan,”
so that you have a blueprint for how to get to a sexy state of mind
Written
with scientific rigor, humor, and compassion, Nagoski shows us what
great sex can look like, how to create it in our own lives, and what
to do when struggles arise.