A provocative and deeply
important study of women’s lives, women’s choices—and an
‘unspoken taboo’—that questions the societal pressures forcing
women into motherhood
Women
who opt not to be mothers are frequently warned that they will regret
their decision later in life, yet we rarely talk about the
possibility that the opposite might also be true—that women who
have children might regret it. Drawing on years of research
interviewing women from a variety of socioeconomic, educational, and
professional backgrounds, sociologist Orna Donath treats regret as a
feminist issue: as regret marks the road not taken, we need to
consider whether alternative paths for women currently are blocked
off. She asks that we pay attention to what is forbidden by rules
governing motherhood, time, and emotion, including the cultural
assumption that motherhood is a “natural” role for women—for
the sake of all women, not just those who regret becoming mothers.
If
we are disturbed by the idea that a woman might regret becoming a
mother, Donath says, our response should not be to silence and shame
these women; rather, we need to ask honest and difficult questions
about how society pushes women into motherhood and why those who
reconsider it are still seen as a danger to the status quo.
Groundbreaking, thoughtful, and provocative, this is an especially
needed book in our current political climate, as women’s
reproductive rights continue to be at the forefront of national
debates.
